You Can't Lift Up by Putting Down

Surely or hopefully it makes sense to accept that you cannot lift someone up by putting them down.

Unfortunate as it is, there are people who believe that the intellectual "put-down" is the most effective method to motivate. These are the self aggrandizing individuals that likely consider themselves to be a hammer. When you think you are a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail.

Consider for a moment the most valuable aspect of the hammer and nail relationship. The hammer is used to place the nail in the desired location. When placed properly, the nail holds things together. There are a lot of things that will work as a substitute for a hammer; a rock, a shoe, a pair of big pliers.  Hardly anything can sufficiently replace a nail. The nail, with its very specific characteristics, is basically irreplacable. Nails are tough, but if you hammer too hard on a nail it might bend. A hammer without a nail, has little value and a bent nail will not work properly. Even if you are able to straighten the nail out, the place where the bend occurred is weakened, forever.

People that "put-down" attempt to ingratiate themselves to leaders and peers by believing there is great intellect demonstrated by criticizing folks and ideas that are not their own. These people really do not care how much damage they do to others, they are all about themselves. Hurting anyone in order to help yourself is not smart at all and will not, in the long run, pay dividends.

Professor Teresa Amabile of the Harvard Business School published an experiment entitled "Brilliant but Cruel". Her findings showed that people who gave negative book reviews were perceived as less likable but more intelligent, competent and expert than people who wrote positive reviews of the same books. She summarized he findings by stating: "Only pessimism sounds profound. Optimism sounds superficial".

Criticism cuts to the bone, but sincere and truthful encouragement heads straight to the heart and the heart is where true motivation is found. The heart is where change takes place. When you approach any situation with a sincere desire to make a positive contribution you will find a way to make a valid point without damaging the folks you are working with and in doing so, you will improve your own status and deservedly feel better about yourself.